The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
