with your own penis?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
