just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is classic penis vs brain.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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