im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I want her autograph on my taint
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
third nipple confirmed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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