After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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