I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
