we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
