meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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