it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
