the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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