TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
