we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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