he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
