just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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