Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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