Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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