I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
