We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
