The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize