Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
