I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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