I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize