I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
