ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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