oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
