After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
