I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
