I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
