She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Girls should come with a carfax report
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
