would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
