if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
