Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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