but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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