the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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