omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
