Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
