My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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