She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
