Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
