HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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