it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
