lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am naked and annoyed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
