So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
