So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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