i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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