I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize