awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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