oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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