I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
