Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.