Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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