Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
