My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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