Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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