hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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