she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
