oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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