youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
