I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
