Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
