so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
