some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
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I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The feeling are messing with the penis
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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