I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the condom got lost in my hair
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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